Oh Poop.

Alternate Title: "Why I've Had To Alter My Vocabulary Forever And Will Likely Never Look At Chocolate Ice Cream Quite The Same Way Ever Again."

Obviously the first title won out for the sake of brevity, but the alternate title is certainly more accurate. We're still deep in the trenches when it comes to potty learning, but one thing my boys have learned (and learned well) is the power of a well-timed poop joke.

• • • • • • • 

Not my kids, but close. Oh, so close.

When we were still using diapers full-time, my boys would nearly always refer to a poopy diaper as a "surprise" (helpful hint: it was almost never a surprise). On occasion a particularly spectacular poop would be referred to as a "sheetcake" – my boys eat a lot and poop well, so use your imagination here (please). In either case, I often hear one or the other while in the throes of unfastening a diaper.

You might recall that M. and I bought the boys a water table as part of our Canada Day festivities, but in the interest of keeping our national holiday poop-free I'll admit I left out part of the story.

As M. was ushering the boys outside that day to see said water table for the first time he said, "Mommy and Daddy got you a surprise!". The news was met with a bit of a confused pause until Nate piped up in his sweetly inquisitive voice and guessed "sheetcake?".

Which basically means I now refer to any and all surprises as "a treat" because... well, I think the kids thought we were about to present them with poop. Possibly a really spectacular one, but er... that's even worse. Wow. Great fodder for later but I'm not sure where I went wrong on the concept of "surprises".

• • • • • • • 

As for why I will likely never look at chocolate ice cream quite the same way again...

... the answer can be found here. In the event that you are squeamish, the link does not contain poop of any kind, but rather my boys (inspired) musings over dessert last night.

I promised I wouldn't say (outright) who was responsible for this particular debacle so I won't, but it wasn't me this time. It might however be someone who thought teaching the boys this caper was "a very uncouth" sort of thing to do (see comments).

Oh, irony.

- L.

"I Steal Them!"

While I don't endorse stealing in general, I have to admit I've enthusiastically encouraged the "stealing" of my shoes at least. Lately, we've branched out into "Mommy's boots" and I get a laugh out of the boys clomping around the house in my winter boots while I'm fixing a meal shouting, "I steal them!".

Today my boys discovered the much coveted "Mommy's blue jean jacket!" was within arms reach, as was "Mommy's big jacket!". They needed a little help putting them on, but it was worth stepping away from the kitchen counter to assist. They even stood pretty still while I grabbed the camera, although Seth was looking a tad over it by the time I snapped the shutter. 

– Are you there God? Is me, Seth. 

Still, if you've seen anything cuter than this (at least today), I don't want to know. I'm not sure my eyeballs could take it.

- L.

A Penny Saved Is A Penny Earned, But This Is What A Nickel Can Do

Or rather this is what a nickel can do if you're an incredibly industrious type of person whose apple didn't fall too far from the tree where it grew – and you happen to live in a part of the country that charges a deposit on pop-cans and refunds you 5 cents if you collect said pop-cans and return them to the depot.

Gamma Rita isn't a soda consumer, but she does an excellent job locating discarded pop-cans. Along the way she's recruited some excellent helpers also. By now, everyone in my mom's building knows she collects cans and other bottles that are refundable and will either drop them by or give her a call for pick-up. In turn, my mom has taken those cans and bottles in for collection (sometimes bags and bags of them, sometimes more than one run in a day), and every single one of those nickels goes into something she calls the "Pop Bottle Fund".

One and five and twenty-five cans at a time – this is the house that Gamma Rita built.

Just look at what a nickel (or 5000 of them) can do: 

– 'Dis our nickel fortress, everyone!

– Thank you Gamma Rita and everyone who help!
We give you nickel tour now, so to speak.

– First, 'dis thing has groovy climbing wall so we show you how that work.

– Also platform to levitate jump on.

– And handy spy scope to look out for cuties.

– Or to look at self.

– Is also great place to show off miraculous bebo.

– Or tease the cuties with promises of bebo.

– Did we mention it has secret bunker?

– We also get some fun new outdoor toys from Grandma Leslie
and 'dis is good place to hide them.

– Is also more spacious than it look. There's room for two...

– ... and some cuties too! I be on lookout in case any happen by.
If 'dis fortress had a sign I think it say "girls allowed".

– Fort and climbing is all kinds of fun, but 'dis thing also has slide.
Also I like to point at logo and say "Little Tikes!" sometimes before I slide.

– Slide also fun thing to climb up as it turn out.

– And top of slide is great meet-up place for some impromptu "FORE-STAINS!".

– At least until it isn't.

– Also we get ideas that manufacturer probably not intend.
Like sliding down climbing wall for example.

– As it turn out, 'dis not such a great idea but we both do it anyway a half dozen times
before we stop trying to make it work. At least for today.

• • • • • • • 

Unrelated to the nickel fortress, but this post wouldn't be complete without the following: 

This is Seth discovering a dandelion gone to seed. I was attempting to show him how to blow on it and trying to take pictures at the same time. It didn't go so well and he ended up with a mouthful of dandelion fluff. No pics of that unfortunately since I put the camera down to assist him. 

I did get this picture a few minutes later though:

– Something not right here, everyone.

... and even though I didn't know it at the time, that look on his face is because I missed one of those dandelion fluff-bits.

- L.

PS. Gamma Rita – you have no idea how much fun the boys have had playing in their nickel fortress, and I can't wait for you to come and see for yourself. Thank you for working so hard to give your grandsons something so wonderful, but mostly just thank you for being my Mommy. 10 more sleeps. Hope you enjoy the pics in the meantime.

Make-Up

Although I'm mostly pointing the finger at everyone who voted in the infamous "Stalemate" poll and declared it a good thing, you all aren't entirely to blame.

95% to blame, yes – because as we all know the boys not only read this blog, but post polls in their spare time (polls that are easily swayed by readers who appreciate hijinks, I might add).

*ahem*

The other 5% I'll take credit for, as follows:

• My boys are aware that Mommy wears "make-up". 
• They are also aware that Mommy sometimes makes "hair-do". 
• They aren't especially aware of the difference between the two, but I'll admit I do encourage moments like these by taking pictures because it's too funny not to share. 

And now my boys putting on their "make-up" over dinner the other night...

While it's evident they were actually making "hair-do", they kept saying "Make-up! Make-up!" while giggling up a storm and any attempts to correct them were summarily ignored. Seth is looking rather proud of himself here, but he always was one for a bit of flair when it comes to "foodstuffs in the hair":

No, that's not a barrette by the way – it's a carrot.

Nate also had a fine time applying his "make-up!":

And since he has a lot more hair than his brother at this point, I nearly missed one of the tomatoes he had stuck in there:

Seth's hair was also pretty much a disaster zone by the time all was said and done:

I picked out what I could and did my best to wipe off the rest (the rest mainly being salad dressing) since it had been a long and weary day and I just didn't have the energy to throw them in the bath like I should have.*

I told them they both smelled like salad bar as I tucked them in to bed that night, which strangely enough pleased them to no end.**

And just in case you were wondering if a meal at the OP is ever complete without some of whatever this is:

... the answer is still a resounding "no".

We still love this game very, very much as it turns out. And yes, that would be Nate once again attempting the under-the-shirt feeding manoeuvre.

Equally popular? A good old-fashioned "Fore-stains!" of course:

"FORE-STAINS!"

I really wish those sippies hadn't been in the way while my boys were busy hamming it up, but I think you get the idea.

- L.

*No worries – a very thorough scrubbing ensued the next morning. 

**I figure if Seth can comment on my scabby elbows with such candor, the least I can do is return the favor occasionally.

Raise Your Hand

Really. Raise your hand if you didn't see this coming: 

Admittedly, I think there was a greater possibility of the sun not rising this morning so I'm 100% confident that zero hands were raised.

Less predictable though? Nate upping the ante at dinner tonight. I didn't bother taking pictures other than this one: 

And even though you can probably tell exactly what's going on here, it's still worth a peek at the new video on our YouTube™ channel featuring this evening's antics. When I say Nate upped the ante, I really mean it.

Enjoy!

- L.