It Would Be Easier To Get Mad At Them If They Would Stop Being So Cute

We've been through the food-flinging stage and back again and I thought we were mostly over it – and mostly we are, but every now and then when my back is turned and it's time to play "AAATS!" whatever is left on the plates tends to go airborne before I suspect a thing. 

Hence this:

And even though Seth was making some feeble effort to redeem himself here and even though Nate was making a silly face and had absconded with the evidence, I think they both knew they'd have to bring out the big guns: 

Because how can you ever be mad when they bring out the "fore, fore, fore...":

"FORE-STAINS!" 

'Dis work every time, everyone!

It really does work every single time and they know it! 

*sigh*

• • • • • • • 

In unrelated news the next week (even though they're wearing the exact same outfits so it kind of looks like it's the same day), the cupcakes Grandma Leslie sent over were a big hit! 

– I chooses "villanen". Sounds a little like villain, but is tastier.
Tastes sort of like vanilla according to Mommy.

– I chooses chocolate, everyone and despite messy reputation and messiness of chocolate
in general, I appear tidier somehow. Unless you look under table that is.

- L.

PS. I did look under the table and it wasn't pretty.

And Just Like That, We Did Write Back!

After a bit of an unexpected absence at the OP due to technical difficulties, I thought it would be good to get things back on track with a nice messy post and a poll to boot.

My boys making some art for their Daddy on Father's Day...

– Oh, hi everyone. Is me, Seth. I is making art on paper and have
mastered technique of using both hands in paint pots.

– Oh, hi everyone also. Is me, Nate. I also master double-paint-pot technique,
but I make art on face as well as paper.
'Dis how having two hands really work to one's advantage sometimes. 

– I still lookin' pretty clean everyone!
Paint be (mostly) on paper and all is well!

– Er... no one explain 'dis paint-on-paper-ONLY policy to me,
and I is OK with that lack of information because...

– 'Dis! 

• • • • • • • 

So, here we are once again. For some reason, I have a feeling this isn't going to end well, but I leave the voting up to you on how art is best served. Poll is open for the next week in the left-hand column.

- L.

PS. The "art" mostly wiped off after things were all said and done, but since we used blues and greens Nate had an unfortunate sickly pallor for the rest of the day, which made me thankful that most of our activities took place around the house.

Make-Up

Although I'm mostly pointing the finger at everyone who voted in the infamous "Stalemate" poll and declared it a good thing, you all aren't entirely to blame.

95% to blame, yes – because as we all know the boys not only read this blog, but post polls in their spare time (polls that are easily swayed by readers who appreciate hijinks, I might add).

*ahem*

The other 5% I'll take credit for, as follows:

• My boys are aware that Mommy wears "make-up". 
• They are also aware that Mommy sometimes makes "hair-do". 
• They aren't especially aware of the difference between the two, but I'll admit I do encourage moments like these by taking pictures because it's too funny not to share. 

And now my boys putting on their "make-up" over dinner the other night...

While it's evident they were actually making "hair-do", they kept saying "Make-up! Make-up!" while giggling up a storm and any attempts to correct them were summarily ignored. Seth is looking rather proud of himself here, but he always was one for a bit of flair when it comes to "foodstuffs in the hair":

No, that's not a barrette by the way – it's a carrot.

Nate also had a fine time applying his "make-up!":

And since he has a lot more hair than his brother at this point, I nearly missed one of the tomatoes he had stuck in there:

Seth's hair was also pretty much a disaster zone by the time all was said and done:

I picked out what I could and did my best to wipe off the rest (the rest mainly being salad dressing) since it had been a long and weary day and I just didn't have the energy to throw them in the bath like I should have.*

I told them they both smelled like salad bar as I tucked them in to bed that night, which strangely enough pleased them to no end.**

And just in case you were wondering if a meal at the OP is ever complete without some of whatever this is:

... the answer is still a resounding "no".

We still love this game very, very much as it turns out. And yes, that would be Nate once again attempting the under-the-shirt feeding manoeuvre.

Equally popular? A good old-fashioned "Fore-stains!" of course:

"FORE-STAINS!"

I really wish those sippies hadn't been in the way while my boys were busy hamming it up, but I think you get the idea.

- L.

*No worries – a very thorough scrubbing ensued the next morning. 

**I figure if Seth can comment on my scabby elbows with such candor, the least I can do is return the favor occasionally.

Before And After

I've had a few projects I've been meaning to get to for awhile now, and after the very sad news about Gram on Sunday I decided tackling at least one of them would be a welcome distraction.

Last December, I tackled a similar project following some nursery* shenanigans, and while it was a success at the time, the boys have found more than a few ways to get into mischief since then. Their ability to not only climb, but to find things to precariously stand on in order to do some especially precipitous climbing (something they pride themselves on by the way**) has led to their books (which they will still tear given the opportunity) migrating higher and higher up the nursery bookcase until the books were sitting on top of the bookshelves, rather than in them.

Even with bookends, it all seemed a bit wobbly and I realized that I've been reading less often to my boys as a result – getting the books down without causing a cascade of books to start sliding was starting to be something I would do reluctantly. I love reading to my guys and they love their stories, so yesterday seemed like a good day to finally do something about it.

And by something I mean making room in their closet for any books I don't let them have unlimited access to (which is most of them) and toys that can't be used without supervision.

Have I mentioned that we only have one closet in our 2 bedroom apartment? Because we do. I refer to it as the boys' closet because it's in their bedroom, but really it's an all-purpose closet, so making room for everything I needed to make room in there for was a serious undertaking.

And doing it all while two toddlers were "helping"? Well, that was just asking for trouble obviously.

Still, it made for terrific distraction.

Behold my helpers, moments before I relocated them:

Where they continued to "help" of course:

They eventually got curious about what I was up to however:

Around this point, I was having some serious misgivings about taking on this project since everything was in such a state of disaster it was kind of making me want to cry anyway. In the end I resorted to giving them some of the "forbidden books" to look at while I kept one eye on them and the other on the task at hand. 

The finished result(s): 

You'll note some red drawers privileges have returned – but not the super fun ones! – at least not until I get some latches that hopefully prevent climbing. The toys on the top of the bookshelf are all things they can stand on/make precipitous towers out of so that's why they've been reassigned. Things looked a little more balanced originally, but after supper last night, Nate and Seth actually managed to get a toy down from there while I was tidying up the kitchen. My only guess is that they stood on the bedrail since that's all they had available, but I'll admit it doesn't totally add up.

They're tall boys, but even with the bedrail, I just don't think they're that tall. Maybe they took turns standing on each other's shoulders until one of them managed it. To be honest, I wasn't in the room so I have no idea – but I did shore things up further after I saw they were still able to get up there somehow.

And last but not least, in case you were wondering... 

... Seth's favorite bucket is once again "OK".

- L.

PS. About the Vaseline... I ended up getting a great tip which turned out to be unnecessary for dealing with the boys' hair but was invaluable when it came to cleaning the bucket at least since soap and hot water were not getting the job done. The answer is baby oil. While it might sound counter-intuitive, baby oil cuts through the Vaseline grease and is easily removed with soap and hot water – in between, it sort of makes a bigger mess but it's short lived. Just wanted to pass that along in case you happen to have a Vaseline in the hair (or anywhere else) incident in your home.

• • • • • • •

*I've actually been very good about not calling the boys' room a nursery anymore, but it was still legitimately called that at the time.

**I mentioned cryptophasia in a previous post and since it ties in nicely with this one – and also since I haven't gotten around to a proper post about my boys and their "twin speak" yet (and at this rate, never will), "anasahnize" will serve for now. I've spelled that phonetically of course since the boys aren't big spellers yet. It took me awhile to figure out it's meaning, but quite specifically it is this:

Anasahnize (ah-NAH-sah-nize)

– verb

1. the act of standing upon something precipitous in a dangerous fashion. Best served with a side of giggles.

The after-effect of anasahnize sometimes look like this since anasahnize is often deployed for ill-gotten gains:

10:30 PM a few weeks ago, post-anasahnize.

And so proud of ourselves too!

The box that held those puzzles used to be located on top of their dresser where I assumed it was safely out of reach. This particular anasahnize incident involved stacking soft toys in their bed to make a tall enough tower to reach up there. When I walked in on the aftermath, both boys proudly declared "anasahnize!" and then had the temerity to try to reenact their crimes while I was still cleaning up the first one. Fortunately they are shameless that way because up until then I'd been scratching my head wondering how they'd managed it.

For whatever it's worth, anasahnize has worked it's way into the vernacular over here. Frankly it's easier to say, "No anasahnize!" than "Get off that wobbly tower because it's dangerous and also stop building dangerous wobbly towers so you can get at things that I don't want you getting at!".

Unfortunately we have enough words like this now that I'm pretty sure I won't even be speaking English by next year.

"Greasy!"

There are times when I really wish I had a camera pointed at myself to capture my own dumbfoundedness/shock/horror at the spectacles I sometimes walk in on. This morning was especially one of those times and probably would have involved a series of shots to convey it entirely. I bet the look I had on my face when I realized just what it was I was seeing would have been the best part though.

What I was seeing was this: 

Except that it was in someone's hand, of course – lid off and missing about half the contents it had held the night before.

And you know, it's really pretty amazing how far a little Vaseline will go.  

It's even more impressive how far a LOT of Vaseline will take you, and despite what the bucket says, it is most definitely not OK. Seth's old friend has been put aside for now, along with miscellaneous toys and puzzle pieces to be dealt with... later. 

I had more pressing matters to deal with this morning after all since a great deal of the missing Vaseline had taken up residence in my boys' hair. 

"Greasy!" is the refrain du jour today, in case you were wondering. 

And it's hilarious. Apparently. 

Not so hilarious? What everyone's hair still looked like after a very thorough washing this morning. 

No, it's not still wet... 

... but it sure is "greasy", everyone! 

I have no idea how I'm going to get their hair clean at this point since Johnson's baby shampoo barely put a dent in it.

*sigh*

- L.

PS. I haven't gotten around to posting about the Great Tse-Tse Capers as of yet, but when I do you can add this morning's efforts to the pile. It was, without a doubt, their most impressive "tse-tse" to date – or as Nate would say, "that's a tse-tse, alright!".*

*For quick reference, Nate's infamous line can be found at the 1:37 mark or thereabouts.

Poltergeists In The Nursery*

We have them.

If you're seen the movie Poltergeist, then you'll understand my reference to the moving chairs scene.

If not, here's everything you need to know:

– Mom surveys her relatively normal looking kitchen. 

– Mom turns her back for less than 10 seconds to get some "Mom work" done.

– Mom turns around to discover poltergeist handiwork. There is appropriate shock and horror plus dramatic sound effects. 

• • • • • • •

Of course, that's the Hollywood version circa 1982. Still, my expression when I discovered our poltergeists was eerily similar to that last shot. I think the only thing missing really was the creepy music.

It's been an interesting week since we converted the cribs. If you asked my boys they would tell you that the new beds are the best thing EVER. They were so excited about their new beds that we missed out on some serious sleep for the first 2 or 3 days (an even later bedtime than usual coupled with an early wake-up + no naps) and when they were up during the day all they wanted to do was hang out in their new beds (in a non-restful way) and drag all their toys in there and such.

If you asked me I would tell you that despite the lack of sleep it's been so much fun seeing my boys having so much fun enjoying their new beds it made the rest of it (less sleep, nods at suppertime, a bit of crankypants) tolerable – and a week later things have returned to a state of near normalcy.

Or a new normal at least.

Because obviously they can get out of bed now at will.

And they do.

And do and do and do.

Stern Mommy™ has had to make a few appearances this week. I don't care much for Stern Mommy™, but I have toddlers now and the reality is that her attendance is required here and there so as not to raise complete hooligans, so I'm on it.

Of course when the poltergeists showed up, Stern Mommy™ was nowhere to be found. Mostly because I was busy looking like Poltergeist movie Mommy – at least before I grabbed my camera and took pictures and had a laugh instead of being stern about it all. Bad form, I know.

Before I present the poltergeists, I should say that the boys have gotten a lot more "stealth" about getting out of bed since those first few nights when they gave themselves away time and again by announcing (loudly) what they were up to.

I should also say that the night I discovered we in fact have poltergeists was an especially exhausting evening. I'd been in and out of the nursery on average every 2 minutes or so putting someone back into their bed, reminding someone that "the toys are sleeping now so we need to leave them alone", and generally picking toddlers off the ceiling.

45 minutes in and I decided – come what may – that I was going to sit down for 5 minutes.

And I DID. 

I heard the pitter-patter of little feet around the 2 minute mark, but otherwise it was relatively quiet. I enjoyed the next 3 minutes of sit-down time imagining they were running off some energy and that this was a good thing because it lessened the odds of Stern Mommy™ making an appearance. 

And had what I walked into not been so completely unexpected and by it's nature both funny and camera worthy, I'm sure it had all the makings of a Stern Mommy™ moment.

The bed-formerly-known-as-Seth's-bed-which-is-now-Nate's-bed** was piled high with every single soft toy that we own. This was the first thing I noticed and I thought to myself, "well, that isn't so bad and this explains why things were relatively quiet".

Until I looked behind me and saw this:

Two completely empty shelves and the rest well picked over.

This was my poltergeist moment, everyone. 

Underneath what appeared to be the easy to tidy up blanket of soft toys was a solid sheet of not-so-soft toys including (but not limited to) dinosaurs and their accoutrements (10 pieces), at least 3 different dismembered stacking toys (32 pieces), a puzzle (5 pieces), assorted toys that did not involve pieces (7), every book in Seth's library™ (10-odd books), and a swath of legos (which I did not stop to count, but would estimate at around 30).

80+ pieces of stuff hidden under a tower of soft toys without making any noise other than the sound of running feet in under 5 minutes?

There's really only one explanation for it and it starts with a "p" and ends with "geists". Good thing I grabbed my camera when I did since I was able to capture the ghostly forms at work (thanks mainly to low level lighting and a long exposure).

In fact, I managed to capture at least 2 apparitions in the nursery that night. 

- L.

*I'm 80/20 currently on referring to the boys' room as "the nursery" vs. their bedroom. I know it's not really a nursery anymore and my babies aren't actually babies anymore. My boys respond to either term, but I know it's time to stop referring to their room as a nursery. Consider the post title my last hurrah.

**My boys have unreservedly switched beds without looking back, which A. means I really did have the sleeping arrangements wrong the entire time and B. I'm at a loss currently on referring to anyone's bed in particular to avoid confusion for anyone who is actually familiar (or was familiar) with the previous bed assignment. I'm a week in and it's still confusing to me.

• • • • • • • 

PS. Although Stern Mommy™ remained at bay that night, I will say that while I was clicking away with my good humor still about me I had yet to discover just how bad the devastation was under the heap of (mostly) soft toys. I imagined she stayed away because she was also suitably impressed at how much havoc my boys managed to wreak in 5 minutes. It's also possible she's seen Poltergeist (the movie) and didn't want to take any chances.

Messy.

A year ago I thought this was a fairly horrifying mess – one that would shock and amaze you. Of course, I look at that now and laugh myself silly.

Before I reveal our current state of debauchery, you should know that:

• This particular mess took less than 40 minutes to create. Coincidentally, this was also the same amount of time it took to prepare dinner. 
• Messes similar to this one occur several times a day and are cleaned up several times a day. 
• Whether I am in the room or not typically has no real bearing on the amount of mess created. 
• We pride ourselves on messy (and it shows). 

That said, this is what a mess in the nursery looks like lately: 

And as much of a seasoned pro as I am at this point, there are more times than not that I look at the carnage and ask myself, "where do I even start?". 

– L.

Summer of Love: The Yogurt & Spoons Edition

True confessions: I wasn't brave enough to go it alone with messy foods and spoons, so I waited until Gamma Rita's visit last summer to try it out. The following pics are from some early days with yogurt...

Nate in the throes of perfecting his reverse-spoon technique when I suddenly sensed something was up:

Something not right here, everyone.

Turns out he was sitting next to the Colonel the whole time:

Spooky! 

- L.

PS. We haven't moved on much in terms of our spoon technique, although I am able to manage yogurt on my own okay enough now if I remember to take a few deep breaths first. Oatmeal on the other hand might have to wait until the boys are college bound.

Then And Now

Having written recently about losing the cloth love of late, perhaps it was no small coincidence that I came across some never before published photos and videos during my attempts at proper archiving* earlier this week.

We've been using cloth since the boys were big enough to fit into the smallest size diapers that I'd bought. I think my guys were around 6 weeks old at that point. The smallest diapers I had on hand were intended for a minimum 7-8 lb. baby.

The first time someone pooped in one I wondered what I'd gotten myself into.

It took a day or so and a wash cycle (3 wash cycles to be more accurate**) to realize it was probably doable.

And it was.

And for the most part I was glad we were doing it even at the time. We saved a lot of money and once I had a routine down (which happened surprisingly quickly) it really didn't feel like extra work.

Except lately it kind of does.

I think there's at least a few obvious reasons:

1. Toddler poop vs. baby poop. You would think poop is poop, but I assure you not all poop is created equal. Toddler poop is it's own special entity. Phrases like "peanut butter poop" were coined to describe this phenomenon. I've probably already said too much so I'll just leave it at that.

2. The boys are well into 2 year sizes and at this point clothing manufacturers pretty much quit making clothing for a bulky diaper bum. We tend to buy from the Gap, mostly because their clothes are great for skinny babies/toddlers, but lately what is baggy everywhere else is oddly snug around the hip with cloth diapers.

3. The overall diaper malfunctions since last summer are not boding well. "Uh-oh. Raisins." was kind of a clincher.

Lately my toddlers babies have been showing some vague signs of being ready for potty-learning. I already know the ticket is in getting one of them to do something, so I don't have to get both on board so much as one on board strongly. I'd wager a guess at this point over who it will be, but I'm almost always wrong when it comes to stuff like this so I'll refrain. It really doesn't matter who goes for it first – the main thing is my unwavering belief that the other will follow suit with minimal effort on my part simply because they like to keep pace with each other and are keenly interested in what the other one is doing.

So maybe with all that said, it was more than fortuitous timing that I came across those nearly forgotten photos earlier this week.

It didn't re-inspire the cloth love per se, but it did make me want to have what might very well be a last hurrah, which I did.

Just in case.

Without further ado, the OP nostalgically presents: 1 year ago in our brand new pocket-stuffed diapers...

Checking out an equally new mitten for the first time.

Chewing on a favorite toy because the perpetual teething was already well under way.

Plotting the great "Penaten Caper". 

Plotting a variety of future capers which seems obvious now but at the time I was all, "Awhhh! Nate is reaching for stuff he can't reach yet. How cute!". 

• • • • • • •

1 year later. Same diapers, same babies, different (and yet also kind of the same) hijinks: 

They only look peaceful because I've given them some previously not-allowed magazines. They are pretty obsessed with "MAG-ZINE!" by the way. Usually they get Grandma Leslie's throw away Chatelaines or an old IKEA catalog. This time I offered up two design periodicals from my private stock. The only thing better than "MAG-ZINE!" is "Mommy's MAG-ZINE!" so they sat kind of still for a couple of photos at least. 

Until we got an urge to stretch. 

Followed by some climbing. 

Followed by even more climbing. 

Followed by everyone wanting to get in on the action, which kind of cut our camera time short since these were not the most sturdy perches to be hanging out on. Also the scent of shenanigans was in the air. 

Is like hurricane blew through here, everyone!

Surveying the aftermath of "MOMMY'S MAG-ZINE!". Even though you can't see the debris in any of the photos, there was an extended period of destruction after the first two shots were taken.

– L.

PS. There's a new video on our YouTube™ channel with clips from last year and clips from last night. Shenanigans and cuteness abound. I threw in the toddler tantrum at the end to kind of balance things out. Enjoy!

PPS. A follow up regarding the "Uh-oh, Raisins." incident since you may have noticed a bit of funny business going on in at least one of the pictures further up this post with an ill-fitting diaper.

Here is a better look at what I mean: 

With the exception of last night's trip down memory lane, Seth hasn't worn these particular diapers in several months. He's a pretty skinny guy and at some point it didn't seem to matter how much I adjusted the rise, the leg would gape. It's odd that these fit him so well as a baby and not now – but this pic does make it pretty easy to see how some "raisins" might end up on the floor and how pants would wind up soaked 30 minutes after a diaper change.

Obviously, a less dramatic version of this is happening with the other style of pocket diaper I have for Seth that I thought were a snug fit. Or maybe they were a snug fit and it's just time to go begging for sandwiches again. 

• • • • • • •

*Getting my game on with proper backups is yielding a bumper crop of undiscovered pics, so don't be surprised if there are a few more posts of this variety coming your way.

**Washing cloth diapers generally takes 3 cycles through the machine, plus a cold water pre-soak in the infamous Poo-Buckets™. It was a little faster at our previous residence, but we have better machines where we live now (even though it takes a little longer).

Generally speaking – since everything comes out in the wash (bad pun intended) this was our typical routine:

• 30 minute pre-soak in cold water 
• 1 short cycle cold wash with pre-rinse stinkies remover (35-45 minutes) 
• 1 long cycle hot wash with diaper-friendly detergent (Rock'n Green got the job done where others fell a bit short) and a splash of bleach (upward of an hour - closer to two hours at the new place if I use the sanitize cycle) 
• 1–2 rinses (20-35 minutes) 

At minimum it's been a 2 hour and 45 minute commitment every other day. Sounds a bit crazy on top of the copious amounts of regular laundry, but it really wasn't a hassle somehow. Although I expect this fully explains why there is almost always a washer or dryer as background noise in nearly all of our videos.