Conversations With Nate, Pt. 2

Nate: Budding cartographer and calculator enthusiast.

"I'm not going to talk for a hundred thousand years! Or maybe when this song is over."
– In reply to me refusing to play DJ, and skip past a song he did not like.

"Did I already go swimming?"
– In reply to me saying that their swimming lessons would start the following week. No one had gone swimming yet.

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a Mommy so I can get lots of hugs and kisses."
– Just because.

"Seth keeps spitting in my bed!".
– Seth has an abundance of drool sometimes. Things happen - including drool - especially when you are roughhousing in your beds. Sorry, Nate. Sometimes life hands you spit at bedtime.

"What did one eye say to the other eye? Salmon!"
– While working on his late-night comedy routine.*

"Look Mommy, these underpants are priced to smell!"
– After seeing men's underwear "priced to smile" in the Sears catalog, which if you think about it makes less sense than "priced to smell". He kind of had a point.

"Mommy - I have some mosquito bites here… and here! I think I need some After-Bite on them".
– Said while pointing at his nipples.

"Mommy, something happened and it accidentally involved jumping on the couch."
– That was no accident, mister.

"Mommy - I jump on the couch sometimes when you're not looking. It's one of my secrets".
– Said after approximately 5,000 requests to not jump on the couch. I'm glad he can confide in me, but I had to break it to him that this wasn't a secret. It's right up there with, "It accidentally involved jumping on the couch."

N: "Mommy, if someone sees you they might want to marry you".
Me: "Why would someone want to marry me?"
N: "Because you look so beautiful."

- L.

*Nate loves to tell jokes, and he loves nothing better than a good old-fashioned one coined by none other than himself. "Salmon!" was both random and endearing at the same time and his silly joke has become a little legendary around these parts because, why not?

P.S. Nate is quotable in different ways than Seth as you can see. He has never sent me to jail – even when he's mad at me, for example. He still loves fart jokes, underpants jokes, poop jokes and so forth, and he can tell them rather well. He also still likes to dance with his Mommy and aside from growing up to be whatever Seth grows up to be, claims he will marry me someday. I guess we'll cover that one later when he's a little older. For now, it's nice and I'll take what I can get.

P.P.S. It's no joke about the budding cartographer and calculator enthusiasm. Nate has gone through a few maps and calculators at this point, but he is seldom without the latter and can spend a good deal of time with the former, long after Seth (and everyone else) has lost interest.