Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Hallowe'en Everyone!

Happy Hallowe'en from the OP!

– "We're going to Expecto Leviosa your candy tonight, everyone. We've been practicing."

"Yeh don' know what yeh are?... Harry – yer a wizard."
– HAGRID, Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone

– "Oh hi everyone. It's just me, Ron, doing a little of the old Leviosa with Scabbers.
Not really sure how this turned out since he's not pinned to my costume yet.
Must be magic. Hermione would be impressed."

– Hey, "Harry"? Movie quotes and references aside, you do realize
that we've both dropped our wands at this point, yes?"
– "Hadn't noticed a thing, Ron. Now how do we 'Leviosa' the candy again?"

P.S. This year's Hallowe'en is brought to you by Harry Potter and Ron Weasley (as if they needed an introduction). I said I would do it last year, but we re-used instead. This year, "Ron" is so "Ron-like" that we went for it. "Harry" doesn't look so bad either. Neither of the boys has any clue about Harry or Ron, but they are excited to be them nonetheless. I believe we did it "bloody brilliant", as Ron himself would say.

P.P.S. "Ron" doesn't turn out to be a bad looking chap in real life. I'll admit it feels like looking into the future. "Expecto Futuramous!" is what I said, and there it was.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Hallowe'en...

... everywhere you go.

I had put up some window decorations and the creepy skulls from last year. We had even bought some pumpkins to carve, but the boys let me know in short order that the house did NOT look "spooky enough", so we stepped up our game last weekend and got as spooky as we could.

They seemed satisfied with the results and keeping the kids happy is the main thing after all, right?

– "Oh, hi everyone. A chipper squirrel gnawed off part of my face
before my big moment on camera."
- "I'm still keeping it together. Or maybe I just don't look as tasty."

- L.

P.S. Boo!

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

The Black Cord

– "This is just how I remember it!"

– "This can't be right."

It's been at least 2 years since the last time my boys talked about the time they were "in Mommy's tummy" and recounted tales of what that was like, but last night as we were getting ready for bed Seth asked me this:

"When I was still in your tummy, what was that black cord? It was attached to me. Why?".

I explained about belly buttons, that the cord was blue (but might have looked black inside my tummy) and how that was where we were attached by a cord while he was growing, but the whole time my mind was more than a little boggled to say the least. How does he remember these things at age 4.5?

Nobody knows, except maybe Gamma Rita who has always said that, "Seth was born just knowing things", and that much is true at least.

- L.

PS. The pictures were taken this morning with an actual black cord. It's not a bad analogy, even if Nate was a little confused at the end. I have a feeling some conversations are in my imminent future.

The Most Awkward Smooch & Hug EVER...

 ... brought to you by the OP.

– "Oh, hi everyone. I'm just sitting here feeling like smooches, and maybe a hug".
– "And I do not want smooches or a hug. I am grumpy."

– "Well, OK. But I am still thinking about smooches and a hug. It would make
a memorable moment, and since we are all dressed up with no place to go for now,
we might as well make the best of it."
– "Also Mommy said, "Could you two at least sit a little closer?", so I'm going in."

– "Here I go! This is one for the family photo album - I can't wait to see how it turns out!!!"
– "Maybe we can call it the most awkward smooch and hug EVER. This is so awkward, bro'."

– "Oh, come on... it wasn't THAT bad. Smile now!".
– "Nope. Still feeling awkward".

– "How about like this way?"
– "Well, maybe that's not so bad".
– "You know, you can do your best to look grumpy again, Seth, but it's not working".
– "I still prefer smooches from Mommy, but I guess I didn't mind too much after all.
Now... what should we fight about?".

- L.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Conversations With Nate, Pt. 2

Nate: Budding cartographer and calculator enthusiast.

"I'm not going to talk for a hundred thousand years! Or maybe when this song is over."
– In reply to me refusing to play DJ, and skip past a song he did not like.

"Did I already go swimming?"
– In reply to me saying that their swimming lessons would start the following week. No one had gone swimming yet.

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a Mommy so I can get lots of hugs and kisses."
– Just because.

"Seth keeps spitting in my bed!".
– Seth has an abundance of drool sometimes. Things happen - including drool - especially when you are roughhousing in your beds. Sorry, Nate. Sometimes life hands you spit at bedtime.

"What did one eye say to the other eye? Salmon!"
– While working on his late-night comedy routine.*

"Look Mommy, these underpants are priced to smell!"
– After seeing men's underwear "priced to smile" in the Sears catalog, which if you think about it makes less sense than "priced to smell". He kind of had a point.

"Mommy - I have some mosquito bites here… and here! I think I need some After-Bite on them".
– Said while pointing at his nipples.

"Mommy, something happened and it accidentally involved jumping on the couch."
– That was no accident, mister.

"Mommy - I jump on the couch sometimes when you're not looking. It's one of my secrets".
– Said after approximately 5,000 requests to not jump on the couch. I'm glad he can confide in me, but I had to break it to him that this wasn't a secret. It's right up there with, "It accidentally involved jumping on the couch."

N: "Mommy, if someone sees you they might want to marry you".
Me: "Why would someone want to marry me?"
N: "Because you look so beautiful."

- L.

*Nate loves to tell jokes, and he loves nothing better than a good old-fashioned one coined by none other than himself. "Salmon!" was both random and endearing at the same time and his silly joke has become a little legendary around these parts because, why not?

P.S. Nate is quotable in different ways than Seth as you can see. He has never sent me to jail – even when he's mad at me, for example. He still loves fart jokes, underpants jokes, poop jokes and so forth, and he can tell them rather well. He also still likes to dance with his Mommy and aside from growing up to be whatever Seth grows up to be, claims he will marry me someday. I guess we'll cover that one later when he's a little older. For now, it's nice and I'll take what I can get.

P.P.S. It's no joke about the budding cartographer and calculator enthusiasm. Nate has gone through a few maps and calculators at this point, but he is seldom without the latter and can spend a good deal of time with the former, long after Seth (and everyone else) has lost interest.

Conversations With Seth Pt. 3

"Punkin', punkin', punkin', gourd..."
"Hey Mommy, do you remember 'Punkin', punkin', punkin', gourd?".
– As if I could ever forget.

S: "What does a duck say at the beginning of a race?".
Me: "Hmm… I don't know. What does a duck say at the beginning of a race?".
S: "Ready, set, QUACK!".
Me: "Hey, you know – that's pretty funny!".
S: "Well, I am a little good at telling jokes, you know".

"I don't think I like your attitude either, Mommy!"
– When I said I didn't care for his attitude.

"Guess what, Mommy? I have a pretend Mommy. Her name is Mrs. Boogee and she never yells."
– I think this one is self-explanatory.

"Well, OK Mommy… but now you have to go to your tiny cage!".
– Said when acquiescing to something, but not in agreement. I am not alone in having to "go to jail", but the "tiny cage" is reserved for me and me alone. I guess that makes it special, if you like that sort of thing. It's nice to be thought of I suppose.

- L.

P.S. My tiny cage, as envisioned by M:

Looks like Mommy flew the coop that day.