A Poop Joke

The past week has been fairly lousy with rain*. Yesterday was sunny however, and we spent the greater part of it outside either at the park or out for a walk or in the backyard. I was determined to enjoy as much of it with my boys as possible, which included a great deal of running at one point as it turned out.

After some back and forth relays in the backyard with the new bubble mower, I decided to take a breather. This was met with some resistance on the part of Nate and Seth to which I (unfortunately) replied, "I'm sorry guys, but Mommy's pooped. I need to sit down for a bit".

Cue a confused glance between my boys followed by "Mommy pooped!" which I took to mean "Mommy is pooped" in toddler speak since we aren't always down with proper tenses. Cue also Gamma Rita in a fit of laughter. Lastly, cue me with a question mark over my head.

When Gamma Rita was able to stop laughing long enough to get the words out she clued me in and said, "They think you've pooped yourself and that's why you need to sit down".

And it turned out, that's exactly what my boys did think.

Oy.

So henceforth and forevermore any and all "surprises" are now known as treats, and being in a state of fatigue will simply be referred to as "Mommy is tired now". 

*sigh*

- L.

*I wrote this post a week ago and then didn't end up posting it (or anything else) because chasing after my boys lately has left me especially pooped tired at night. The weather has cleared up considerably since then.

Oh Poop.

Alternate Title: "Why I've Had To Alter My Vocabulary Forever And Will Likely Never Look At Chocolate Ice Cream Quite The Same Way Ever Again."

Obviously the first title won out for the sake of brevity, but the alternate title is certainly more accurate. We're still deep in the trenches when it comes to potty learning, but one thing my boys have learned (and learned well) is the power of a well-timed poop joke.

• • • • • • • 

Not my kids, but close. Oh, so close.

When we were still using diapers full-time, my boys would nearly always refer to a poopy diaper as a "surprise" (helpful hint: it was almost never a surprise). On occasion a particularly spectacular poop would be referred to as a "sheetcake" – my boys eat a lot and poop well, so use your imagination here (please). In either case, I often hear one or the other while in the throes of unfastening a diaper.

You might recall that M. and I bought the boys a water table as part of our Canada Day festivities, but in the interest of keeping our national holiday poop-free I'll admit I left out part of the story.

As M. was ushering the boys outside that day to see said water table for the first time he said, "Mommy and Daddy got you a surprise!". The news was met with a bit of a confused pause until Nate piped up in his sweetly inquisitive voice and guessed "sheetcake?".

Which basically means I now refer to any and all surprises as "a treat" because... well, I think the kids thought we were about to present them with poop. Possibly a really spectacular one, but er... that's even worse. Wow. Great fodder for later but I'm not sure where I went wrong on the concept of "surprises".

• • • • • • • 

As for why I will likely never look at chocolate ice cream quite the same way again...

... the answer can be found here. In the event that you are squeamish, the link does not contain poop of any kind, but rather my boys (inspired) musings over dessert last night.

I promised I wouldn't say (outright) who was responsible for this particular debacle so I won't, but it wasn't me this time. It might however be someone who thought teaching the boys this caper was "a very uncouth" sort of thing to do (see comments).

Oh, irony.

- L.