Poltergeists In The Nursery*

We have them.

If you're seen the movie Poltergeist, then you'll understand my reference to the moving chairs scene.

If not, here's everything you need to know:

– Mom surveys her relatively normal looking kitchen. 

– Mom turns her back for less than 10 seconds to get some "Mom work" done.

– Mom turns around to discover poltergeist handiwork. There is appropriate shock and horror plus dramatic sound effects. 

• • • • • • •

Of course, that's the Hollywood version circa 1982. Still, my expression when I discovered our poltergeists was eerily similar to that last shot. I think the only thing missing really was the creepy music.

It's been an interesting week since we converted the cribs. If you asked my boys they would tell you that the new beds are the best thing EVER. They were so excited about their new beds that we missed out on some serious sleep for the first 2 or 3 days (an even later bedtime than usual coupled with an early wake-up + no naps) and when they were up during the day all they wanted to do was hang out in their new beds (in a non-restful way) and drag all their toys in there and such.

If you asked me I would tell you that despite the lack of sleep it's been so much fun seeing my boys having so much fun enjoying their new beds it made the rest of it (less sleep, nods at suppertime, a bit of crankypants) tolerable – and a week later things have returned to a state of near normalcy.

Or a new normal at least.

Because obviously they can get out of bed now at will.

And they do.

And do and do and do.

Stern Mommy™ has had to make a few appearances this week. I don't care much for Stern Mommy™, but I have toddlers now and the reality is that her attendance is required here and there so as not to raise complete hooligans, so I'm on it.

Of course when the poltergeists showed up, Stern Mommy™ was nowhere to be found. Mostly because I was busy looking like Poltergeist movie Mommy – at least before I grabbed my camera and took pictures and had a laugh instead of being stern about it all. Bad form, I know.

Before I present the poltergeists, I should say that the boys have gotten a lot more "stealth" about getting out of bed since those first few nights when they gave themselves away time and again by announcing (loudly) what they were up to.

I should also say that the night I discovered we in fact have poltergeists was an especially exhausting evening. I'd been in and out of the nursery on average every 2 minutes or so putting someone back into their bed, reminding someone that "the toys are sleeping now so we need to leave them alone", and generally picking toddlers off the ceiling.

45 minutes in and I decided – come what may – that I was going to sit down for 5 minutes.

And I DID. 

I heard the pitter-patter of little feet around the 2 minute mark, but otherwise it was relatively quiet. I enjoyed the next 3 minutes of sit-down time imagining they were running off some energy and that this was a good thing because it lessened the odds of Stern Mommy™ making an appearance. 

And had what I walked into not been so completely unexpected and by it's nature both funny and camera worthy, I'm sure it had all the makings of a Stern Mommy™ moment.

The bed-formerly-known-as-Seth's-bed-which-is-now-Nate's-bed** was piled high with every single soft toy that we own. This was the first thing I noticed and I thought to myself, "well, that isn't so bad and this explains why things were relatively quiet".

Until I looked behind me and saw this:

Two completely empty shelves and the rest well picked over.

This was my poltergeist moment, everyone. 

Underneath what appeared to be the easy to tidy up blanket of soft toys was a solid sheet of not-so-soft toys including (but not limited to) dinosaurs and their accoutrements (10 pieces), at least 3 different dismembered stacking toys (32 pieces), a puzzle (5 pieces), assorted toys that did not involve pieces (7), every book in Seth's library™ (10-odd books), and a swath of legos (which I did not stop to count, but would estimate at around 30).

80+ pieces of stuff hidden under a tower of soft toys without making any noise other than the sound of running feet in under 5 minutes?

There's really only one explanation for it and it starts with a "p" and ends with "geists". Good thing I grabbed my camera when I did since I was able to capture the ghostly forms at work (thanks mainly to low level lighting and a long exposure).

In fact, I managed to capture at least 2 apparitions in the nursery that night. 

- L.

*I'm 80/20 currently on referring to the boys' room as "the nursery" vs. their bedroom. I know it's not really a nursery anymore and my babies aren't actually babies anymore. My boys respond to either term, but I know it's time to stop referring to their room as a nursery. Consider the post title my last hurrah.

**My boys have unreservedly switched beds without looking back, which A. means I really did have the sleeping arrangements wrong the entire time and B. I'm at a loss currently on referring to anyone's bed in particular to avoid confusion for anyone who is actually familiar (or was familiar) with the previous bed assignment. I'm a week in and it's still confusing to me.

• • • • • • • 

PS. Although Stern Mommy™ remained at bay that night, I will say that while I was clicking away with my good humor still about me I had yet to discover just how bad the devastation was under the heap of (mostly) soft toys. I imagined she stayed away because she was also suitably impressed at how much havoc my boys managed to wreak in 5 minutes. It's also possible she's seen Poltergeist (the movie) and didn't want to take any chances.